So the goal is to be confident, to be powerful, to overcome things that cause us fear.
The stereotype of a powerful person: physically tall, loud, and perhaps with superhuman strength.
If you don’t fit this stereotype you might think you can’t be confident.
But power doesn’t always look the same. To me, a powerful person is simply someone who knows their value.
You don’t need to be tall, you don’t need to be loud, you don’t need to have muscles like Arnold Swarchenegger.
Your specific brand of confidence and power are extremely unique to you – your thoughts, your skills, your way of viewing the world and that’s why it’s so great.
You don’t have to ‘act’ or become another person, you just need to decide what your mission is and to focus on that – let that become the most important thing in the world and then the fear of others can start to become insignificant.
When we feel shy or embarrassed or lack confidence it’s usually because we are concerned about what others will think about us and what they might do or say to us.
Some of my students confess they feel self conscious because they think if they make a mistake or if their pronunciation is not perfect they will be judged.
But people with confidence are not focused on how others might judge them because they know that being judged is not important.
Or rather, they know that what they are doing or saying is simply ~more important~ than what anyone thinks of them.
Of course accurate speech and pronunciation are important but often the most significant improvement in speaking ability comes from an improvement in your mindset – when you decide on your purpose and hold that as your main focus.
What are you trying to communicate, and why is it important?
Your purpose doesn’t have to be something very deep or complex, it can be temporary and specific to a certain moment.
You just need to have it clear in your mind. Then you can structure your speech, you will be easier to understand and you will have something important to focus on so you can deliver your words with confidence.
Having a clear purpose is useful because it means whenever you face resistance you have a defence.
Which is more important, worrying about this or *insert my important mission here*?
What is my priority right now?
Your purpose gives you something to hold on to, to keep you focused, to keep you calm.
Again, your purpose doesn’t have to be complicated or original.
It can change a lot, it can be very specific.
It might simply be:
- “present my work to a potential client”
- “ask for directions”
- “explain my research project”
- “introduce myself and say hello”
Once you get in the habit of setting these intentions they mean you always have something to come back to whenever you feel insecure or nervous.
What is your priority right now?